Sunday, April 21, 2013

Sunday Thoughts

Sundays used to be my favorite day of the week. Not so much anymore... Jackson has a really hard time on Sundays because we go to church at 9am and he is not a morning person. And because of Jeff's schedule, he doesn't get to go to church so I am left to fend with the booger by myself. I have a totally new respect for single moms!

I also have a newfound respect for my mom. I really don't like going to church by myself, but she goes every week! As outgoing as I am with people I know, I'm not as outgoing around those I don't know. And I think this has gotten worse since we've been married. Jeff is fantastic about making new friends, getting to know people, striking up conversations about anything, and making others feel welcome.  Well since he's so good at it, I think I kind of have let him be the one to do that when we meet new people. Being a new mom in a new ward makes it hard to get to know people since I'm constantly in and out of class with Jackson.  So not being the most outgoing makes it even harder.  So I have made it a goal to get to know more people in our ward and neighborhood because I know we have some great neighbors!

The last two weeks at church we have had great lessons! I just wanted to share my thoughts I've had recently.

Last week we were talking about family roles. I love talking about it this, since family processes is such a huge part of my major, so being able to talk about it in a gospel sense is even more exciting to me!
As members of the LDS church, we believe that men and women have very distinct roles, especially familial roles.  The husband/father is to provide, preside, and protect. The wife/mother is supposed to nurture.

**Before I go on, it's important to understand that neither of these roles is more or less important than the other! Husbands and wives are equal partners and having different roles in the family is what allows them to work together so well! These innate roles are why it is necessary to have both a mother and a father in a family, but that's a completely different tangent I could go on about.**

Both of these roles in the family are trying to either preside over or nurture 5 specific areas:

  1. Physical
  2. Mental
  3. Emotional
  4. Social
  5. Spiritual
The husband/father usually has the role of leading the family in prayer, scripture study, family home evening, etc. I've heard many women ask though how to help their husband fulfill these responsibilities without stepping on their toes. Other women have wondered who is supposed to nurture them. Of course husbands and wives should be a source of spiritual strength for each other, but last Sunday I realized that as women of the church, we need to focus on nurturing ourselves too! Nurturing your family doesn't just mean your children. You must also nurture your husband and you must nurture yourself. I don't know why that had never really clicked for me before.  As you nurture yourself, you will be able to better nurture your family.

In Doctrine and Covenants 51:9, it says that every man may " be alike among this people, and receive alike, that ye may be one..."  Although these thoughts about this aren't necessarily stemming from the context of consecration which this scripture is intended to be about, I got something different out of it: These saints were  commanded to be alike, to be one, however that did not mean they were to give up their identity or individuality.  I felt like this really applied to marriage for me.  A man and a woman become one, but that doesn't mean they should give up their own identity. I think this is also important when you start having kids. I feel like sometimes I kind of identify myself by Jackson. I haven't really had time to focus on things I love to do, which I think is something important for all moms to continue doing.

Jeff and I were talking yesterday about all the sad things that have happened in the world this week and how grumpy I've been because of finals. I told him I'll be so happy when this week is over! However, he told me that I shouldn't wait till this week is over, just be happy now.  Like President Uchtdorf said, "The perfect place to begin is exactly where you are right now."

So right now, I am going to begin trying to get to know my neighbors better, nurturing myself, and being happy now. 

These two make me most happy!

1 comment:

  1. I appreciate your newfound respect for me! It's funny, because when church is over each Sunday, and I'm driving home alone, I always think, "wow, that 3 hours sure went by fast!" We have a new Gospel Doctrine teacher and he is GREAT! He just started last week and he incorporates history of the church into the lesson. Then my Mia Maids are the BEST! I love how they really get involved with the lessons I have prepared for them. The Spirit is always there with us each week. I always sit in the same spot each week, front row of the back set of chairs (behind the pews) and even tho it's back by the noisy babies (and they were particularly noisy today!), the chairs are just more comfy! Anyway, when Diane Self and I were visit-teaching the Corbells last month, Brother Corbell hasn't been there in months because he's been in the hospital, and he mentioned the fact that he always notices where I sit. So I guess people are watching out for me! Which means I need to make sure I better have a good reason for NOT going to church! ha ha. (like visiting you)

    As for you not being so outgoing, I'm surprised to hear you say that. In the past, everyone has always mentioned how comfortable you make them feel, so I know you go out of your way to do that for people. But I do remember thinking when you and Virginia were younger, that it was so much easier to talk to people when you had your kids around you as actually started the conversation most of the time.

    So now that you have "recognized" the fact that you need to not be so grumpy (are you really???), just remember to take care of yourself and find your happy place. Don't let the world overwhelm you. Find time for yourself. Granny's was always a bath, or sitting at her sewing machine, even for a few minutes. Mine was mowing the lawn! I could be out there, making all that noise, and if you or your sister came outside and started mouthing something to me, I remember just shaking my head and pointing to my ears..."I can't hear you!" and just kept on mowing. That's why it is still my favorite household chore! Get a lawn mower and I'll mow your lawn when I visit! I do that at Pop's!

    And last thought...I have a "fortune" from a dove candy taped to my desk at work..."you are exactly where you need to be"...I like to read that every so often and think how true that is.

    Love you very much, my sweet girl. I'm so proud of the woman, wife, mommy you have become. You are such an inspiration, especially spiritually, to me, and have been since we started taking lessons for the church. I wish you were closer (or had more time!) so that we could talk more often, because there is still so much I could learn from you.