Monday, January 21, 2013

Bonds That Make Us Free

So, since I've changed majors to graduate I have to take a capstone class that kind of sums up my college experience; this class is temporal welfare for families.  So far, I love this class! It is taught by a cute little old man that you just want to be your grandpa! He has so many wonderful stories and I can tell I am going to learn a lot from him.  Our assigned "textbook" is a book called Bonds That Make Us Free by C. Terry Warner.  So far I've only read the first two chapters, but I already highly recommend it! I'd like to share my insight with you that I've gained from just the first two chapters because they have been so impactful for me already.  I hope this post doesn't seem overly personal...

I've recently told Jeff that I feel like I've changed and not in a way that I like.  Maybe it's the sleep deprivation that I started experiencing before Jackson even came into this world.  But I am much more easily agitated with people (especially if I don't know you) and it's been harder for me to assume the best of people lately.  For instance if someone cuts me off, I used to think 'Maybe they have some sort of emergency like their wife is in labor,' but now I just get upset... I haven't been too fond of this change in me. I never really expected myself to fundamentally change like that, but I know that I can change my heart again to see the good in others and overcome this.

"Any inner space, no matter how large, will be filled by any agitation, no matter how small." Lately, I feel like I have been "wronged" by people. Someone took my parking spot, the person sitting next to me in class doesn't have as much homework as I do tonight, I'm already running late and I get stuck behind someone driving slower than the speed limit, Jackson scratching my face over and over, etc. It feels like once one bad feeling happens, your whole days spirals and your mind becomes consumed with thoughts like these.  And then you feel "stuck" in these feelings. We "experience other people or circumstances as having more power over our own happiness than we do." I'm hoping I'm not the only person whose felt this way before. But this book talks about how "honest self-understanding liberates us from our stuck emotions."  So if I'm honest with myself I know that it's no one else's fault that I'm upset, except my own.

So to make things right, I am going to stop "betraying" myself.  This book refers to self-betrayal as "when we do to another what we sense we should not do or don't do what we sense we should."  When I have a thought come into my head that I should do something (hold the door open for the person behind me) for someone else (ie: a prompting from the Spirit), I am just going to follow it. Why is that so hard in the first place? Because I have become self-absorbed and then start justifying why it was okay that I didn't follow that prompting.  So, this week I am going to try to really follow the promptings of the Spirit and try to see the good in those around me.  Sorry for the long post. Have a good week!

Monday, January 14, 2013

What a week!

A week ago, I started back to school after a much needed six month break. This was the first break I have had that's lasted more than 2 weeks since Jeff and I got married over 2 and half years ago! Although, I don't know if I can consider having a baby much of a break! Last Monday was very bittersweet. I was excited to go back to school so I can finish up my degree and to get back into a routine, but it was so hard leaving my sweet baby boy! And to make it even worse, we are both still sick! :( Being back at school wasn't as weird as I thought it would be. I was afraid I would feel so old considering that I'm now technically a super senior and I have a baby, but I haven't felt too awkward.

Monday was also another important day.  Six years ago on Monday, I was baptized as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I cannot believe it has been that long! And yet I feel like it has been so much longer. I still laugh when people say how new I still am! Deciding to get baptized is truly the best decision I could have made in life because it has helped me to be happier than ever. Had I not gotten baptized, I probably would not be married to the best man in the world and the absolute love of my life. And had I not married the man of my dreams, I would not have my little Bubba J. I would also not be attending BYU where I have made some of y closest friends.  Finding God, has made me such a happier person and has helped me understand my purpose in life: to be a wife and mother.  He has helped me through so many trials and has helped me understand the divine gift that women can partake of: motherhood.  Knowing that my greatest callings in life will be being a wife and mother has helped me make a HUGE decision this week.

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to be a teacher. When I first got to college I wanted to be an elementary school teacher. After quite a few semesters of school I discovered that I didn't want to teach elementary school; my heart was in secondary! I changed majors and decided to become a Family and Consumer Science teacher for middle school and high school. A lot of people don't know what FACS is. It includes, cooking, sewing, child development, family finance, family relationships, teen living, interior design, and fashion strategies.  I absolutely love learning all these things and have seen how beneficial they are to have in school. Students love these subjects! I am a firm believer in continuing to have these vocational type of classes in public schools, but I could write an entire post on that alone. Now, my huge decision this week... I have decided not to continue down this path of getting my teaching credentials.

As I met with my academic counselor to sign off my student teaching application, I was telling her my concerns about being in school all of this next year and then student teaching with a baby and with a husband who already has a stressful job.  She gave me the option of graduating in June with my Bachelor's in Home and Family Living.  So that is what I decided will be best for my family. I am sad that I will not be getting my teaching credentials right now, but am so happier knowing that I will be able to focus more of my time and energy into being the wife and mother that my family needs me to be.

I am grateful for the power of prayer and for a supportive husband. Jeff has been nothing but supportive of me since we have been married and continues to support me in this decision.

On another note, Jackson started eating solids this week! We started him on rice cereal which he loves! And because of this he has been sleeping like a champ! I am so proud of my little guy. Hopefully he feels better soon! We also got a new range! I was so excited because for the last five months we haven't had a working oven and only a partially working stove! I am so excited to be able to cook anything I want again. :) We made yummy sweet potato rolls and pizza to break in the oven. We also tried a new recipe making pesto alfredo sauce using avocados. It was delicious.  If anyone wants recipes let me know!

Sunday, January 6, 2013

New Year

This is a little late, but Happy New Year! December went by quickly and we are excited to start 2013!

After Jeff's graduation we celebrated Christmas! I had planned to do a daily countdown activity to get ready for Christmas, but with a baby and a husband who works long shifts, that really didn't end up working. I had really been looking forward to it though and had some good ideas planned. Maybe next year.  Jeff and I enjoyed a nice quiet Christmas together this year and the best present was Jeff got the day off at the last minute! Since we've been married, Jeff has always had to work on Christmas, so this was a really nice surprise.  We didn't do a whole lot because I was super sick and Jackson was getting sick. I just got the flu, but poor baby ended up getting croup! We're both still trying to feel 100% better. We did get to go see a movie though! Jeff and I have always gone and seen a movie on Christmas together and this year we saw Les Mis, of course! We both really enjoyed the movie!

Then New Years came and we didn't do anything because Bubba and I were still sick. haha I barely was even awake till midnight. I feel like so far in our marriage, Jeff and I have encountered quite a few trials, more than most couples that have been married for less than three years, so it was fun looking back on this year and realizing how good we've had it! Some of our highlights were Jeff starting his new job at the Prison and graduating from the Academy, I took a much needed break from school, we got our first niece and found out we get another niece or nephew this year, we bought a truck, we bought a house and last but definitely not least we had a baby!

In front of our new Tacoma!

Day we got keys to our new home!

Just a few hours old!

Having Jackson here the last 5 months has been nothing but a blessing.  He has definitely helped us grow the last year and it has been so fun watching him grow! He is developing quickly and I bet he will be crawling soon! It's fun to see his personality develop and seeing how he is a mix of me and Jeff.  Some of his new and favorite things are
-screaming: he has learned that he has vocal chords! He screams when he's happy, sad, mad, hungry, tired, etc.
-dogs: he loves Sadie and Riley! He'll watch them play forever and if Sadie comes up to his face he always tries to lick her nose. Yuck!
-Mommy bites: I guess these are his form of kisses, but he loves to bite or suck on my face. He only does this to me...
-sitting: he is still trying to master this, but he sits so well on his own now!
-escape game: we have a bouncer that Jackson has loved from day one, but because he can sit so well now, he always tries to get out of it! And he does a pretty good job at it! And no joke, as I finished writing this he flipped it over... Thankfully I pretty much caught him. Guess we'll put the bouncer in storage till next baby.

I'm 5 months old!

Loves the puppies! (I think this picture is super funny! It looks like Jackson is consoling Riley)

                                                              Ready to start crawling soon!

And I finally finished putting together Jackson's room (almost! I still have a few pictures and things to hang up). I had been begging Jeff to set up the crib since I was 6 months pregnant, but he was logical and said why bother if we're just going to move.  So I am ecstatic that his room is finally put together (now that he's 5 months old!) even though there is no floor. Once we moved I kept waiting to put his room together because I wanted to put the carpet down first, but we don't know when we're going to get around to that so I went ahead and did his room! :)

That dresser is mine from when I was a baby!